Welcoming the year with crappy fireworks is plain stupid. Have sex instead. Or just tell your girlfriend you love her.

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Every year on December 31, thousands of people welcome the new year in the streets.

Every year thousands of Czechs meet on major city squares with bottles of champagne, hot wine and other beverages as it is legal to drink alcohol in the street. With some exceptions, there are perimeters around some buildings, schools, landmarks, etc.

But also, every year hundreds of Czechs celebrate with fireworks. And I mean HUGE ones. And very dangerous. And every year somebody starts practicing firing their own rockets and other stuff and they end up having their palms blown off. Or the rockets land on somebody else’s balcony, setting things on fire. Worse case, they break windows and land in living rooms, and since everybody has curtains in this country, fire is inevitable.

www.gettyimages.com

Frankly, I do NOT feel sorry for a stupid person who buys fireworks item from the Vietnamese vendors, with no proof of purchase, no user manual in Czech. It is an accident waiting to happen, and you can not say these people have not been warned. What I hate is the fact that they bring this stuff out in the open and they endanger people who want to celebrate like humans, drinking champagne and sing Auld Lang Syne [don't click if you hate Kenny G.].

I think I said it last year I know a guy who likes to spend the last seconds of the year making love to his girlfriend, so he likes to say he is probably the first Czech to have orgasm in any given year, because the rest of the country is either drinking, singing, sleeping drunk, or watching a stupid TV show. And believe me, the last-day-of-the-year shows ARE stupid. Gotta admit, there is something about this idea…

Happy New Year, everyone. See ya in 2009.

Resolutions

I am not going to waste my and her time. I will tell her that the next time we sit at the same table, it will be a date after which I will take her home, kiss her hand like a French gentleman and ask whether there will be any “next time”.

I will start learning to play the piano, so that in six years I can be like Phillip Mills. This guy is excellent, he is self-taught.

I will apply the “don’t say no policy”, meaning that I will take any assignment that I will be offered. I don’t think this is the right time to say “no thanks”.

I will do one thing I haven’t done so far. Bungee jumping, sky diving, or something similar.

I will try to take advantage of Czech Republic’s EU presidency [English site is here].

Slevy! You can’t hide from them

It is two days AFTER Christmas and malls are crowded as if it were two days BEFORE Christmas. “Normal” stores are usually closed on Sundays, but malls are open 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. to accommodate everyone who wants to take advantage of the fact that after-Christmas sales are much bigger this year. For some strange reason, the Bata shoe company uses English posters that say “SALE”. Other companies and stores stick with the Czech word “SLEVY”

The Lidove noviny daily newspaper’s Saturday front page article said “Crisis sale started”.

Some products are REALLY ridiculously cheap, e.g. jeans. I am not ashamed to admit that I bought 3 pairs today. It’s not like I don’t have any. They are really good, I like the brand and style and I sort of bought them “in advance”. They can wait in my closet for a couple of months until I have worn out another pair. Sounds a bit ridiculous? Okay then.

Household appliances are also much cheaper now, which is why one could see long lines of customers buying fridges, DVD players or plasma TV’s. I think I should also buy my fridge “in advance”, as I am moving into my new apartment in March.

Salvation Army will build a kitchen for homeless people

Every year around Christmas the Salvation Army sends several homeless people slash volunteers to the streets of Brno with the traditional red pots on tripods to collect contributions from Christmas shoppers.

This year people in Brno donated CZK 170,000 (ca. $10,000). SA will renovate a kitchen in one of the asylum homes in Brno where homeless people can come and cook their own meals.

Normally this money is used to prepare huge Christmas dinners for the homeless. They did have their Christmas Day dinner, too, paid and cooked thanks to other financial resources.

Merry Christmas

THANK YOU

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Have a great Christmas. If you are from Australia and your Christmas Day features girls in Santa hats and bikini on Bondi Beach, I have three words for you – you. lucky. bastards.

Socialist and his arrogant crusade

Numerous polls and rankings say that George W. Bush is the worst American president ever. Americans are lucky he is leaving.

Unfortunately for Czechs, the worst politician ever is not leaving. Chairman of the Social Democrats Jiri Paroubek. Not only the worst politician [according to TCDW] but the biggest asshole to have ever entered the Czech politics [also according to TCDW].

Paroubek’s party and fellow opposition communists (KSCM) recently refused to support the government proposal for foreign military missions next year.

The biggest problem is that they did not oppose the proposal per se. Czech governments have been sending soldiers on foreign mission for years, even the former Social Democratic government did it. No. Paroubek decided to play a revenge on the government and demanded that the government coalition support the abolition of a substantial part of health care fees in exchange.

The government did not want to discuss the fees that are a part of a very significant public finance reform the pupose of which is to stop excessive spending, mostly due to people overusing and overconsuming pharmaceuticals. Prescription drugs had been “overused” which means, with regard to the reform, that people would get them prescribed but they would seldom use them up. Health insurance companies had been spending billions that could have gone to treatment of serious illnesses, like cancer.

Paroubek said in reaction to the aforementioned issue: “They [government] did not want to negotiate, so there they have it”. Son of a bitch.

It means that the Czech involvement in foreign missions will have to end by January, as the units would not have mandate after February 28. They would have to be withdrawn, which costs millions and lasts for weeks or even months.

In other words, Paroubek risked the entire country’s reputation in NATO and EU in exchange for his socialist symbol of CZK 30 ($1.60). Czech News Agency has an interesting interview with an army general saying what is going to happen if the negotiations go terribly wrong.

TO BE UPDATED

Store mannequins: relatively hot chicks

I know it may sound creepy but it is an observation worth mentioning: stores selling clothes have been using much better mannequins in their windows. They are more realistic, their wigs actually have “hairstyles” — and I have a few friends (girls) who have started saying things like “I could really look hot in this one”. And since there are a few dozen brand clothing stores in downtown Brno, there should be some photographic evidence here on Monday.

The only thing that I want to know is whether these mannequins are nation-specific. Are there Japanese-looking ones in Tokyo? Or, are there “African American” ones in the States?

Czech Christmas Day dinner: carp plus potato salad

I guess there is  nothing more traditional in the Czech cuisine than

CARP AND POTATO SALAD ON CHRISTMAS DAY before the family gathers around the tree to unwrap gifts. Yes, in the Czech Republic we unwrap gifts on December 24.

I wanted to describe the salad and provide a good recipe but CZECHFOLKS.COM have done it already and it is very sophisticated, so go there, read it and try it.

Finance Minister flips off his shadow colleague

Czech Finance Minister Miroslav Kalousek basically said Fuck off to the shadow Minister of Health David Rath IN THE PARLIAMENT.

(c) Czech Television

The fuck-off gesture was a reaction to a very emotional speech in which Rath presented several lies and manipulation about the healthcare reform that is now in process. However, it is close to being withdrawn altogether, especially due to the fact that the opposition social democrats want CZK 30 fees cancelled. The 30-crown fee is paid by people who visit any doctor, or for every item on prescription. The purpose of the fee was to force people to stop wasting medications.

Social democrats said the fee is ruining people who already pay their health insurance premiums anyway. Nonsense. The truth is that the new system of fees was supposed to save money to health insurance companies, and the money could be used to treat people with really serious illnesses.

Rath DID deserve the bird, gotta say…

Thousands of ways to say Merry Christmas

One thing about being a journalist is that you often have to work during Christmas if your bad luck makes you pull the short straw when nobody volunteers to do it.

This is my second Christmas when I do not have to worry about it, and it is quite liberating. I AM going to work, though, but because I want to, and because I have a very interesting job/assignment (translation).

However, full-time translators DO have problems before Christmas. Our corporate clientele sends Merry Christmas cards, e-mails and business letters to their own clientele. And unfortunately the Czech language is very flexible when it comes to wishing Merry Christmas – but especially Happy New Year.

Czechs do not just wish Happy New Year.

They wish plenty of love. Happiness. Business success. Blessing. Lucky stars. Family well-being. Etc. etc. And of course they are so nice they want to wish all of the above to their English-speaking business partners abroad who are not used to such comprehensive Christmas greetings. Quite often I spend half an hour or more, trying to invent a meaningful translation.

Maybe it’s just me but it is way more touching and Christmassy to meet your friend on Fifth Avenue with all the Christmas decorations, exchange a few words and then just say Merry Christmas, rather than making up all the mandatory Czech wishes.

If you want to wish me something, how about good luck? All I want for Christmas is her.