Condoms for cigarettes: activists urge pedestrians to hand their packs over

(c) Getty Images

You give me your cigarette pack and you will get a pack of condoms in return. This is a deal that future doctors are offering in the streets of Brno to smokers today, the Brnensky denik daily writes. This initiative is a part of the Smoke Free Day.

Moreover, smokers who show interest will have the level of carbon monoxide in their blood stream checked.

The series of events which also includes lectures is organised by the International Federation of Medical Students Associations (IFMSA).

Probably the most admirable event of all is a non-smoking party in a famous Brno club. Considering the fact that many students feel the need to smoke in campus courtyards between classes/lectures, kudos to the organisers… According to the daily the Smoke Free Party will take place in other Czech cities or in Vienna, Austria…

I wonder if the nature of the exchange (cigarettes for condoms) was motivated by the fact that the Czech word for “smoking cigarettes” is the same as the slang term for oral sex.

When it comes to students, a similar event should be held next month, titled “Your pot for three pounds of fruit of your choice”.

The Czech paradox: fast food is more expensive than “noon menus”

A new fast food place opened two blocks from my office. It is called Cowley’s and it serves baguettes, croissants, various kinds of pasta etc. The most expensive baguette is CZK 75, which is $4.30.

The interesting thing is that this is a typical price of a warm lunch menu served by most restaurants, consisting of a soup and a regular warm main dish. Czech restaurants serve “noon menus” between 11 a.m. and 2. p.m. to people whose lunch breaks allow them to sit down for more than 30 minutes and have lunch.

(c) 2009 The Economist and McDonald's

Most McDonald’s menus cost around CZK 100, i.e. $5.70, same with KFC. According to the 2009 Big Mac Index (data via the Czech Wikipedia) the burger costs $3.54 in the U.S. and $3.13 in the Czech Republic. I don’t think you can get a soup and a main dish for this price in the U.S. Besides, it is not customary to tip waiters when you have your noon menu, so the price the restaurants declare is all you have to pay…

When they came to the Czech Republic, these fast food chains managed to convince Czechs they want fast food, and the prices have been set to reflect this. Children are taken out for a Happy Meal as a form of reward and teenagers go there because it is considered a part of their “style” (when you eat at McDonald’s, it means you are in). In other words, most people who eat at McDonald’s could easily go some place else to have more for less.

I used to live in the States so I think I am qualified to assess that most Americans eat at McDonald’s because they HAVE to, while in the Czech Republic most people eat there because they WANT to. And therefore the fast food chains of this kind will always be more expensive than regular noon menus (okay, with the exception of some special offers, like “buy three cheeseburgers, get two free”)…

Does the pope need a luxurious port-a-potty for a few minutes of…

(c) Getty Images

Countdown: five days…

The pope is coming to Brno, Czech Republic on Sunday, September 27.

He will celebrate a mass at Turany International Airport.

And according to the Brnensky denik daily he will have a luxurious port-a-potty at his disposal. Actually, there will be two: one for the pope and one for the Czech president and his wife.

This, I think, is probably one of the most ridiculous things associated with this visit. Honestly, why does the pope need a luxurious latrine? Sure, why not? may be the answer. But… the luxurious port-a-potty is a “perfect” symbol of what is terribly wrong with churches.

I am not an expert in religion, but I am pretty sure that Jesus was not very comfortable during the Sermon on the Mount. And the people who are going to attend the mass in Brno are not going to be comfortable, either. They are going to arrive from all over the world, even from the USA or Chile. They will sleep in tents, they will stand there in mud and rain (IF it rains) and they will do anything “just to see and listen to him” — a man who will have as much luxury as possible to enjoy the mission. Why doesn’t he use a regular construction-site latrine, just like the ordinary people? It is a symbol and the church “likes” symbols (truckload of sarcasm behind these quotation marks).

There are missionaries who leave their NYC apartments to live in a rain forest. There are (Mormon) missionaries who go on to live in a totally foreign country for two years, where they often have to redefine the term “civilisation”. You would think the church gives them four-star hotel suites. Hell no.

But the pope will have all the comfort there is during you-know-what.

The Catholic church has its reasons for having the pope visit this country, which is arguably the least religious country in Europe: a while ago the pope said that “the people of the Czech Republic need to find new reasons for faith”.

Benedict XVI and Czech President Vaclav Klaus - (c) Getty Images

Wrooooooooong!!! The fewer reasons for faith people have, the better. Less religious society is a sign of a healthy society. When people “turn to newlyfound faith”, it means there is usually no hope (as they see it), or it may mean they have given up trying and they think that “something will happen”.

Which brings us back to the luxurious port-a-potty. Before 1918, i.e. during the times of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy we were a part of, there was a saying: I am going to a place where even the Emperor is alone: the point of this saying was to say that the ordinary poor people had at least something in common with the wealthy and the noble: taking a leak at their outhouse was pretty much the same.

And contemporary Czechs are highly allergic to people who do not seem to be practicing what they preach. They know the Christian Democrats (KDU-CSL, a Czech political party) rarely behave in compliance with the generally accepted Christian values and they know that “Joseph Ratzinger” was a member of the Hitler Youth (they do not know that it was mandatory, though).

And so, the luxurious latrine was REALLY a stupid idea, in terms of symbols and the message the church wants to send…

How can she wash her genitals, said a judge on the Czech “Idol” show

(c) Blesk.cz

I will sue the judges, said a contestant on the Czech-Slovak “Idol” (Cesko-slovenska superstar) to the Blesk daily after she learned how the judges commented on her appearance.

Radka Semivanova, 22, wants to sue judges-singers Pavol Habera and Marta Jandova who reacted to the fact that Semivanova is overweight. According to a transcript of the off-the-air (but still on-camera) conversation, Jandova said: Pardon my French, but how can she wash her genitals?, to which Habera responded: And how can she wipe her butt?, Jandova: She can’t.

Jandova was surprised when she was asked about the insult, but later admitted she had been impolite (journalists showed her the incriminating footage).

Another strange thing is that this is a TALENT show. And yet the judges felt the need to recommend to Semivanova to stop eating hamburgers. I thought that being overweight does not disqualify you as a star singer discovered in a talent show: cf. Ruben Studdard, for example.

Twisted logic of Czech drivers: I used the sidewalk, there was no spot

In terms of parking, Czechs have to be the most arrogant people slash drivers on the planet. If you ever read a Lonely Planet guide about some Asian country where traffic rules mean nothing on the road, then I maintain that the LP guide on the Czech Republic should be updated to include the information that rules mean nothing for many Czechs who need to park their car.

For some reason many Czechs think they are entitled to park their car right in front of their house. Yesterday I saw cops giving ticket to a middle-aged woman who parked unscrupulously on a sidewalk right in front of her house, arguing “Where else should I have parked? There is no free spot here”. She was visibly upset when the cop told her to circle around in search for a spot…

Some people just don't care... sidewalks are frequently used if some people can't find a spot (left). Or they "park in the second row", blocking other cars. Notice the "sorry" note on the dashboard...

Similarly, it has become a strange habit in downtown Brno to park right behind already parked cars and to place an excuse note with a cell phone number on the dashboard. So when the driver of the boxed car comes, he can just dial the number and let the phone ring just once, and hang up – so the owner of the second car knows he must move it. This has been tolerated by the cops because technically speaking this practice is illegal.

Czech Television will air BBC’s Last Night of the Proms. A must-see…

The public-service Czech Television will air BBC’s Last Night of the Proms tonight. I think it is one of the most interesting cultural events. I always enjoy the patriotic songs, especially Land of Hope and Glory. I used to think it was an ordinary graduation song for U.S. university students, but then I learned what it actually meant to the citizens of the United Kingdom. And I saw Sir Mark Elder one year — brilliant.

I do have to admit, though, that I never understood why people move “up and down” right before the finale of Land of Hope and Glory. Anyone?

The most important freeway in the country to be closed. For the pope

Benedict XVI and Czech President Vaclav Klaus - (c) Getty Images

During the last week of September Pope Benedict XVI. will visit the Czech Republic. Thousands of people from the Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary and Austria are expected to come to Brno International Airport in the vicinity of which the mass will be celebrated.

How do they get there? By cars and buses.

Where do you park them?

On a freeway that runs by the airport.

It will be closed COMPLETELY between two exits and used as a huge parking lot. The usual traffic will have to go through Brno. Yep, transit traffic will be sent to two boroughs of the city. The main street that is to be used for the detour is really bad already in terms of traffic and now the police will reroute some more.

The best thing one can do is leave on Friday and come back on Monday… Something tells me I should be tolerant and avoid saying things like “why do I have to be bothered by a visit of a church leader whom I do not care for at all”. So I will… I will make sure to avoid all the insanity (traffic jams, crowds…) and I’ll be fine…

Another supermarket chain to charge a fee for plastic grocery bags

(c) Getty Images

Many Czechs like to sack their groceries into small plastic bags that supermarket chains provide free of charge upon request.

As of September 1 there are only two chains left, Globus and Tesco, the iDNES.cz news server wrote. The remaining ones charge CZK 1 (one crown) a piece. Although the bags may look like you can consider yourself lucky to use it once, they are easily reusable, especially as garbage bags.

One of the main reasons is that the supermarket chains want to reduce costs, and since they “use” (give out) millions of bags every year, the overall savings are significant.

The composition of the material(s) used to produce grocery bags has changed and the bags can be recycled easily (see below). The news server is quoting an environmentalist according to whom the information that a retailer “has to” charge one crown is excellent free publicity.

The remaining two chains that decided to have the bags for free say it is a “bonus” for their customers. Hmm… I think that it woud be a nice way to start a charity program. The bags could easily cost two crowns. It is not going to kill anyone, even the “poorest customers” and Globus could make a few million crowns a year that could be used to re-cultivate a dump, for example…

Although I may look like a normal plastic bag, all that is going to be left of me in three years is water, CO2 and biomass, thanks to TDPA. But before it happens, feel free to use me as much as possible.  –Globus bag, September 2009

The first day of school

(c) Getty Images

The first day of September is the first day of school for all pupils and students in the Czech Republic.

First-graders: it is one of the most important days in the life of a kid. Children are accompanied by their parents on their way to school. They arrive in their future classrooms where they meet their future classmates (in Czech elementary, junior high and high schools you stay with the same classmates for four years). The parents usually stay in the room for the “orientation hour”.

Junior-high and high school students: this is probably the least popular day of the year and they let it show. They don’t dress nicely and they don’t bring flowers to their teachers. They arrive in school wearing T-shirts and shorts (in case of guys) for their “orientation hour” during which they are told about their class schedule and other organisational issues…and they go home. When I was a high school student, you would not see a high school student packing his own cigarettes in front of the school entrance. I saw THREE students do it today…

There are no schoolbuses in this country and most schools don’t have parking lots and carpool lanes where parents can drop their kids off… So every morning trams and buses are full of little kids and parents because it is the only way to get them to school…