Articles

Fake Engagement Ring Question

In Life on July 24, 2007 by Petr Bokuvka

Lex Haris is about to get engaged. On his blog at a certain CNN-related server he asks:

I’m planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me, and here’s the problem: I’m building us a new home, so cash is tight. While I want to give Stacy a diamond solitaire, I don’t have the money. My plan is to buy her a synthetic “diamond,” then replace it with a real one as soon as the house is finished and I get a little ahead. Must I tell Stacy the truth about the ring up front, or can I wait until I give her the real diamond?

My answer: If the house you are building is the future dream house for both of you, I would turn the marriage proposal into something house-related. Instead of giving her a fake diamond ring that totally spoils the moment [if not for her, at least for you, which is bad enough] surprise her with something you know she really wants in the house but is reluctant to insist on – because she knows it is way too expensive. After the Surprise! moment, you can tell her. It is kind of like marriage proposals on full baseball field, or in live broadcast. 

The Money. com Answer: Tell her when you give her the ring. Unless Stacy is different from most women, she’s going to show off that ring to all her friends and family. Imagine how foolish she would feel, then, if she were to learn later that the stone she’d told everyone was a perfect diamond was nothing more than a perfect fake. She’d be humiliated, of course, and you’d look like a loser for putting her in that situation. That’s not the only problem with your plan. Spouses need to trust each other, and Stacy is going to have trouble trusting you if she learns that your first act as a prospective husband was to mislead her. For reasons that should be obvious to everyone looking to tie the knot, it’s a bad idea, and you should forget it.

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